My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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