Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
