I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
