i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
