i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
He told me they were just razor bumps!
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
