I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Life is so much better after having sex.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
