But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
