I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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