her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
