watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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