My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
