also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
