I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
