oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
high people should be assigned attendants
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
