I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Still dying that you shit outside
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
