billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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