how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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