my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
