my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
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