I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
