I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
