I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
