how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Randomize
