After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
