I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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