Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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