haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
