I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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