they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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