Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
