I heard we made out
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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