Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
