We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
He better not be in your backpack
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
