ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize