we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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