i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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