We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
