Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
