If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
