You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
What a dumb baby whore.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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