Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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