He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
