so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
