He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
