She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
