$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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