woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
