So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
