Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
