I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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