Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
