your thong is hanging out like whoa
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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